Emotional

I have been SOOOOO emotional lately! I don't know what it is, but the littlest things have been making me break down into tears. Sad, happy, touching, spiritual, offensive, nice... doesn't matter what, they just all result in crying.

My latest sob fest came today after I was talking to my dad on the phone. He got a job this weekend!! Yay!! That is exciting news because it has been a long time since he has had an official "job." But guess what... the job is in Canada. Calgary, Canada to be exact. He starts January 4. He will leave shortly after Christmas to go up there and find a place to live and get settled before he starts work. The rest of my family will stay down here until Zachary leaves on his mission at the end of May ish, and then they will follow my dad up to Calgary.

I'm freaking out. Freaking. Out. Everytime I think about my family being that far away at this stage of my life I burst into tears. There was a time in my life when no distance would have been far enough away... but now I'm finally starting to be closer to my family. And especially because Nick and I will be starting a family in the next year or two. My mom is supposed to be here to walk me through being pregnant and plan my baby shower...

I know this is the Lord's doing. My dad was in exactly the right place at exactly the right time to be able to get that job, and they way things are working out, we can all see the Lord's hand in this. I know this is His will, I'm just having a really hard time with it. Don't you hate that? When you can see what He's doing and it makes perfect sense, but it's just hard to accept?

Funny thing about all this though... of all the places in the world my dad could get a job, he finds one in Calgary. Nick is Canadian and guess where he and his family are from... Calgary. What irony. Also funny, my mom hates the cold. Too bad it's like -13 degrees in Calgary right now. Good times. I guess this gives us a legit excuse to go up there and visit. I told Sierra she's not allowed to start liking the Flames though... Its Ducks or she's disowned!!

I was born to be a star

Remember how I went to the taping of The Biggest Loser makeover episode? Well it premeired last night, and I was on TV THREE TIMES!!!! I'm pretty stoked. As soon as the episode is available for viewing online, I will be posting a link here, and I will also take some screen grabs to share with you.
Once again, I was on TV THREE TIMES, and now I am a famous tv star. You totally wish I was your best friend, don't you?

Weekend Fun

This weekend was both ridiculously stressful and fun. Remember that wedding I told you I was planning? Well, it was yesterday. I also ended up being the florist as well - and it was my first wedding. Boy, was I nervous! But everything turned out to be beautiful. Kim looked stunning, the bridesmaids looked beautiful, and of course, the flowers were gorgeous. Her bouquet was solid roses with a collar of black ostrich feathers. She had a feather theme running through the whole wedding. The bridesmaids all had these hot black feather head pieces (found and designed by yours truly) and carried bouquets of red roses with black feathers coming out of them.

Kim's Bouquet

Bridesmaid's bouquets.

The cake. I did the cake flowers too. :) Every single empolyee at the Thatcher Manor came up to me at some point during the reception and told me how great the cake looked. I also had one lady come up to me and tell me that she is a wedding planner who works for a big company out in Orange County, and that the feather thing is really in right now and she sees it a lot. Then she told me that was the best she had ever seen it done. She told me that everything looked so elegant and beautiful. I felt so honored when she told me that. I was so nervous and stressed about how they looked. I spent all day Thursday, went after I got off work at 6 on Friday and was there til 11:30, and then was working on it starting at 6 am on Saturday. I had about 5 breakdowns where I flipped out and threw flowers and started balling. But all the time, all the tears, it was all worth it when I delivered the flowers Saturday morning before I had to go in to work, and Kim started jumping up and down and gave me the biggest hug and told me they were exactly what she had dreamed of. And then when that lady told me that the flowers were some of the nicest she'd seen, that was just icing on the cake.

It was SOOO cold! The Man of Honor let me borrow his jacket.

I love this picture. Man I'm a good photographer! J/k. This picture makes me smile because Kim is such a daddy's girl, and he just looked at her with such love all night long.

Then today at church I had 10 kids in my primary class, 10! Luckily I had a fun activity planned that kept them involved and excited for the lesson. We talked about service today. We learned about how serving others shows Heavenly Father and Jesus how much we love them. We talked about the Bishop and how much service he does for the ward. For our activity we heart-attacked the door of his office. I had cut out a bunch of hearts, and I had the kids write on the hearts different acts of service that they could do, and then we taped them to his door while he was doing an interview. The kids LOVED it. The whole time we were frantically taping hearts to his door they were giggling and they just kept saying, "This is so fun!" Nick is the ward financial clerk and so stays after to do the tithing, and the clerk's office is right next to the bishop's office. When he came home he told me that a bunch of the kids brought their parents over to the office to show them the door. I love it when things like that happens, when the kids are so excited about a lesson. I just hope they learned something! Lol.

So all in all it was a very good weekend. I had a ton of fun at the wedding rocking out to Miley Cyrus, and Twist and Shout, and Lady Gaga. And I had a blast at church with my kiddos saying thank you to the bishop for all of his service.

Blessings

So my last post was slightly depressing, and I've been thinking alot about how many blessings I have, so I wanted to share a few with you.


I have a job, a place to live, and a car to drive. I have a nice camera and a budding side photography business (which I am absolutely LOVING). I am going to college and will finally have my bachelor's degree early next year. I have SO much to be thankful for and these are some of my favorites:

My Bella. She is such a sweetheart, and is always SO excited to see me and love to give me kisses. She can always make me smile, and even though she can be a little trouble maker sometimes, she is genuinely a good dog, and almost always listens and obeys.

Disneyland. I am so blessed to live within a 45 minutes drive from Disneyland and have an annual pass which allows me to go and be a kid and forget my problems anytime I want to.

The temple and the scriptures. Both are vital to our eternal salvation, and both help me get closer to my Father in Heaven. Both help me feel better when I'm feeling down and depressed.



Nicholas. He helps me see in myself the strong, beautiful person that he sees in me. I love him so much, and he helps me become a better person. He believes in me when I don't believe in myself and always encourages me to puch myself and be the best I can be.

In the Lord's Time

"The answers to our prayers come in the Lord’s due time. Sometimes we may become frustrated that the Lord has delayed answering our prayers. In such times we need to understand that He knows what we do not know. He sees what we do not see. Trust in Him. He knows what is best for His child, and being a perfect God, He will answer our prayers perfectly and in the perfect time." ~President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

I've been crying alot lately and I've been having a VERY hard time dealing with "the Lord's timing." Those who know me know that I'm going to school to be an elementary school teacher and plan on specializing in special education. Those who know me well know that what I really want to do is have kids and be a stay at home mom. Ever since Nick lost his job I've been struggling to understand/see the Lord's purpose in this trial.


We had our whole plan laid out: He had a good job making good money, and was all set to graduate this coming June, at which point he would officially be an engineer and his salary would get a hefty boost. We were starting to look at houses and were hoping to buy one within a year, and we were also planning on starting a family. The plan was to start trying to get pregnant within the next couple of months here to time the baby for a few months after graduation... Then Nick lost his job and Cal Poly canceled all of their summer classes, effectively setting Nick's graduation date, and the start of our family, back by a year. I know that one year in the grand scheme of things is nothing, but for me right now, it feels like it might as well be an eternity. I keep reminding myself that the Lord knows what is best for me, and if I'm not having a baby right now, its because there is something else that needs to happen first. Over and over I tell myself that it will happen when we're ready, when the Lord sees we're ready. All in the Lord's time, All in the Lord's time, All in the Lord's time...


And yet, still the tears keep coming. Its not that I don't have faith, or patience, I have a lot of both, I just have this overwhelming feeling that is... drowning me, and it seems that my overflow valve is located in my eyes. Everytime I see a baby or a pregnant lady I have to bite my lip to keep from crying. I am trying so hard to be strong. I don't feel any ill will toward those that have babies or are pregnant, on the contrary I am elated for them. I am anxious everyday to check and see if they've updated their blogs so I can get my fix. I feel SO happy for them that it makes my heart ache, but at the same time, part of that ache is the yearning I feel to start that chapter of life for myself.


I'm sorry for the slightly depressing nature of this post, I just wanted to see if anyone else has had these feelings, or if anyone has any words of encouragement to help me get through this. I feel ridiculous, and I know that my problems are so trivial compared to what is going on in the world, and I have so many blessings to be grateful for.

Thoughts.

• I love fall. It is my favorite season. The colors, the crisp breeze, comfy sweaters, boots...
• I love having a hobby. I'm so glad I finally found one that I enjoy and I'm good at, its just SO frustrating that it is one that is so expensive.
• I am so baby crazy right now it ridiculous, and its driving Nick crazy. He wants to start a family too, but he should probably have a degree and, more importantly, a job before we get pregnant.
• I really want a sb-900 flashlight. And a MacBook.
• I love headbands. And feather headpieces.
• I despise my ethics class. It's awful. And boring.
• I made a baby bootie today, with another one to match to come tomorrow. How cool is that? I crocheted a baby bootie! I'm the bomb.
• I have wonderful friends and I love them like a fat kid loves cake :)

PS... I have a small favor to ask. Could everyone please say a prayer for Nick tonight/tomorrow morning? He has a solid lead on a job in his career field. The man he's meeting with is going to be a guest lecturer in the civil engineering department tomorrow morning, and said he wanted to meet with Nick about the possibility of a job. We're keeping our fingers crossed, and we could use the extra prayers.

Ducks Meet and Greet

Last night was the annual season ticket holder Ducks meet and greet event, and I didn't get to go! I had class, and I was a GOOD GIRL and went to class. Shocked? I was too.

Nick, his sister Cassie, his brother Stewart, and my sister Sierra all went down and had a blast without me... yeah, I don't know how they managed either. I'm way jealous because they got to take a tour of both the Ducks locker room and the visitor's locker room. So cool. Here are a couple of pictures from the event.

Sierra got to meet her favorite player Ryan Getzlaf and get a picture autographed.

Nick and Stewart took a picture with the "Power Players" I think they look a little too happy...

Some of the player's jerseys in the locker room. So cool.

Nick knew how bummed I was to not get to meet George "Fear the 'Stache" Parros, who is THE MAN, so he asked him to hold up this sign while he took a picture. Nick told THE MAN that he is my favorite player. Did I mention he is THE MAN?