Finding Answers to Prayers in Strange Places

Since I first found out I was pregnant, one of my biggest concerns was my weight gain.  I'm not exactly an average weight... I mean, let's be honest.  My body mass index (BMI) puts me in the obese category.    I was terrified to be one of those women who gave in to all of their cravings and gained a ton of weight and came out of their pregnancy looking like a beached whale, and I knew it wouldn't exactly take much to have that happen to me.  So I watched what I ate, gave up most sweets (except in emergencies) and soda, and just tried to make good choices.  I also constantly kept my weight in my prayers.

I know that your weight is a silly thing to pray about, but I figure that if it's important to me, it's important to my Heavenly Father.

One of my other big concerns about my pregnancy was my risk of gestational diabetes.  Being obese combined with my age and my family history all put me into a higher risk category.  I constantly kept that in my prayers as well.

Well, it turns out Heavenly Father had other plans for me, and that I couldn't have both.  I failed my one hour glucose test, and then the three hour glucose tolerance test.  Devastation is a mild descriptor of how I felt when my doctor called me.  I definitely spent a few minutes having a major pity party.  Then I went home and ate a really really bad "last meal" and a heaping bowl of ice cream, and steeled myself over for the major changes that were going to be coming.

I met with the specialist and we went over what gestational diabetes is, what causes it, how to deal with it, and what you should be eating and when.  By the end of our meeting my head was spinning with all of the information.  You can't eat fruit at breakfast.  You have to eat 6 times a day - 3 meals and 3 snacks.  Your snack needs to be a starch or a milk or a fruit plus a protein.  You can't eat fruit and milk together.  And on and on....  Not to mention the fact that now I had to stab my fingers four times a day.

I spent several days struggling to get the hang of things, constantly consulting my food guide to see what my meals should consist of and what fit into which category.  After the first few days, slowly but surely things started to fall into place.  The despair I had been feeling was incrementally being converted into hope - hope that I could actually do this, hope that it might turn out to be a good thing, hope that Heavenly Father knew what He was doing and this was part of His plan.  After a week I went back to the specialist to meet with her again and go over my progress.  Success!  The specialist was impressed by how well and how quickly I had gotten the hang of the diet and my numbers were slowly starting to fall consistently into the range they needed to be in.  I also lost 2 pounds the first week on the diet.

So far I have lost 4 pounds in the three weeks since I have been a gestational diabetic, making my total weight gain during my pregnancy 3 pounds.  Three pounds?  Are you kidding me?  And after going to my regular doctor's appointment, she told me that I would more than likely weigh less after giving birth than when I got pregnant.  Seriously?  Who comes out of their pregnancy weighing less than their starting weight?.

It's amazing to me how the Lord works. He knew I would be okay if I got gestational diabetes. He knew I could handle it, and He knew it would help me with my bigger fear of gaining weight like crazy. I really and truly feel more beautiful and confident in the way I look than I have since the day I got married. It is so overwhelming sometimes to look in the mirror and actually LIKE what I see instead of trying to avoid mirrors altogether. Our Father in Heaven listens to us - He hears our prayers and answers them, sometimes in very unusual ways. If we look critically at our lives for answers, we will often find them in places we least expect - like gestational diabetes.

July Bumpdate

Well, I'm a little late this month...  It's been a little hectic around here.  Better late than never, right?

 7/1: 22 Weeks.  Still feeling great!  Feet and ankles are starting to swell, which is no fun.  I also discovered that I can no longer fit into my heels.  Sad face.

 7/8: 23 Weeks (and looking funky...).  Had my first random belly rubber this week!  I was getting lunch at Subway, and was rubbing my belly because I was starving, and the worker asked if I was hungry or pregnant.  I told her I was hungry, and pregnant and she proceeded to get all excited and leaned over the counter and fondled my belly.  It was slightly akward, but a little fun at the same time that I actually have enough of a belly to rub.

 7/15: 24 Weeks.  Had my glucose test this week... Also, it looks like I might be sucking in a little bit in this picture... not sure why my belly is so small.

 7/22: 25 Weeks.  I had a doctor's appointment this week, yay!  I love getting to hear Ginger's heartbeat!  I also found out that I failed my glucose test... BOO!  So she sent me back to do the three hour glucose tolerance test.

7/29: 26 Weeks.  This week I went back to do my three hour glucose tolerance test... which I also failed.  So, my doctor let me know I have gestational diabetes.  I met with a gestational diabetes specialist at a place called Sweet Success, where they went over a special diet for me.  They helped me know what to eat, when to eat, how much to eat, what foods I can eat together...  Its a little overwhelming.  They also gave me a glucose monitor to test my blood sugar levels 4 times a day.

This month was a bit emotional with the anticipation of the results from my glucose test, then having to go back and do the three hour test, and then learning that I have gestational diabetes.  So far, I'm feeling discouraged.  I have been trying SOOOO hard to follow the diet and have been super duper strict with what I'm eating, and I just can't seem to get my sugar levels to be consistently at what they are supposed to be.  Its only been four days since I met with the specialist and got the diet, so I'm sure it will get easier once I get the hang of it.  At least I hope it will...

On a more positive note, I feel better about myself these days (appearance wise) than I have in a long time.  I feel more confident and oddly enough, more beautiful.  I am infinitely more comfortable with the way my pregnant body looks than I ever was with my non pregnant body.  A lady at church came up to me last week and told me I was the cutest pregnant lady she had ever seen.  I'm not so sure about that, but I think that the way I've been feeling about myself is showing through more and more.  I never thought I would feel this way about myself and the way I look, so I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts :-)