My Favorite Part of Christmas is...

... Disneyland! I've been once with Nick and once with my friend Melissa. I forgot my camera when I went with Nick, so here are some of the pictures from my visit with Melissa.Isn't the Castle stunning with all the "icicles?"

Good times on the wildest ride in the wilderness!

We LOVE taking pictures in front of the CALIFORNIA letters outside California Adventure. These are my favorite shots.

I was trying to jump into the hole in the A so I could take a cute picture, but it wasn't really working out and this was the result.

Beach Photo Shoot

On Saturday, my siblings-in-law and I went down to Newport Beach to do a photo shoot for my mother-in-law's Christmas gift. We're putting together a big wall collage for her. I was SOOO nervous about how things would work out because there were so many obstacles and set backs in planning the whole thing. The photographer I originally asked didn't work out and it took almost two months to finally find a day when all five of us could get together. Then when we finally did get together, it came dangerously close to raining us out, and it was so windy that taking pictures was ridiculously difficult. But in the end, everything turned out alright. We didn't get as many good shots as I would have liked because of the wind (our hair was everywhere and it ruined a few great shots) but we got enough great shots to fill the collage frame. Here are some of my favorites from the day.

Vanessa. One of my favorite shots of the day.

Nick... I love this picture of him.

Vanessa and Cassie.

Stewart.

Nick and I.

It's Beginning to look alot like Christmas!

Yay! I hung the stockings by the chimney with care...

I love my stockings and stocking holders!! I got my giant stockings that look like elf shoes last year and my stocking holders that look like uber sparkly gold presents this year! Amazing. They're the only Christmas decorations I have of my own. Little by little I add more each year.

Dressed in her Christmas best!

Even Bella is getting into the Christmas spirit with her adorable Christmas sweater. She is so stylish with her furry white color and knit red sweater with beaded snowflakes ebroidered on it. I always made fun of the people who dressed up their dog before I had one, and just look at me now. Good times. She is so freaking adorable. It's going to be ugly when I have a baby.

The only thing left that will make it REALLY officially feel like Christmas, is Disneyland. Its not completely the Christmas season until I see the "Believe in Holiday Magic" fireworks and have it snow on Main Street while I cry like a baby. I can't wait.

I love Christmas!

LAME!

Last night we had chinese food.

Nick's fortune cookie: "Reward yourself with something special"

My fortune cookie: "Saturdays are a great day to take care of chores"

Seriously.

Karate Chop!

Me at Halloween

And Then I cut my hair.

Me minus 5 or 6 inches of split ends.

Yay for healthy and cute short hair.

Baby Fever

I want one!! One of my old roommates just had a BEAUTIFUL baby girl, and a few of my other friends are either pregnant or trying to get pregnant. I've had baby fever for a few months now, but unfortunately, Nick and I decided it was best to wait until he graduates for us to add another member to our family... he doesn't graduate for a year and a half!!! It feels like he's been in school forever. They say that patience is a virtue, and if that's the case then I'm not very virtuous.

Ridiculous Christmas and the Primary Program

Okay, so several weeks ago, my MIL (mother-in-law) mentioned that all of the kids might draw names for Christmas this year instead of getting everyone gifts because things are so tight this year. I was all for it. I would much rather get one really great gift than a bunch of crappy gifts, plus it would cut my Christmas costs in half. Well, Friday night she tells me everyone decided against drawing names and that we're all going to get each person a gift (minimum $10, max $20). But get this... I have to buy each person a gift, AND Nick has to get each person a gift. So instead of cutting our costs in half, they doubled our costs. Fabulous. I was having trouble coming up with 1 idea for each person, and now I have to think of 2 ideas for each person!! Geesh. If anyone has any ideas of where I can get cute stuff for cheap, I'm desperate for ideas!!

On a happy note, today was our ward's Primary Program. Nick and I team teach the CTR 8 class, and we've been preparing for today for what feels like forever. It went off without a hitch! Everyone did great, the Sunbeams came through with the comedic relief as usual, and my 8's were so precious when they had to sing their song "When Jesus Christ Was Baptised." I was so proud of myself, I only lost it 3 (okay, maybe 4) times. We sung the song "If The Savior Stood Beside Me" which gets me every time. And then we sung "A Child's Prayer." The kids sung the first part, and all of the teacher's sung the second part, which is the reply to the first verse. The Spirit was so strong that I could hardly sing. Geesh. I don't even have kids and I cried. What am I going to be like when I do have kids in the program. I was so proud of our CTR 8 class. I'll be sad when they leave us at the end of the year. :( Even though I don't get to be around adults and meet new people, I love being in Primary. The children have such a strong Spirit and they teach me so much every Sunday. I can't wait to have my own kids.

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!!

OH MY GOSH! OHMYGOSH!!! I FINALLY watched this week's episode of The Biggest Loser that was waiting impatiently for my on my DVR. Here's how it all went down:

-Alison announced that they were going from competing as teams to singles.
-All of the eliminated players were given the chance to compete in a challenge, and the winner got back onto the ranch.
-Heba's husband Ed won the challenge and came back in the game... worst case scenario for my black team. The numbers are now 5 black v.s. 3 blue :(
-Michelle (black team) and Brady (blue team) fall below the yellow line and are up for elimination... we all assume Michelle is going home 4 votes to 2.
-AMY SWITCHES HER VOTE!!!!!! She votes for Brady even though he is on her team!!!!
-The votes are tied 3-3, and when there is a tie, the person with the lowest percentage of weight loss automatically loses.
-BRADY HAD THE LOWEST PERCENTAGE OF WEIGHT LOSS!!!!!!!!! MICHELLE STAYS AND BRADY GOES HOME!!!!!!!

I am so happy. I started screaming at the top of my lungs and jumping up and down and running around the house like a crazy person. Meanwhile, Bella was sleeping on the couch next to me and is barking her head off because I scared the daylights out of her and she doesn't know what is going on. It was madness.
As you all know, I despise Vicki. She is an evil, conniving, spiteful, vindictive, meannie. What you may not know is that Brady is her husband. The only thing that could have made this better is if it had been Vicki that got sent home.
The only dark spot on this happy news is that Vicki is going to want revenge. I know she is. Things are going to be U-G-L-Y for Amy. Ugly. Amy did the right thing. They're not on teams anymore! They don't have to vote a certain way! They need to vote however is best for them, and Brady is a bigger threat in the game than Michelle! Poor Amy. Not only is Vicki going to be out for blood, but Amy is going to have Heba and Ed on her case too! All episode long they just kept saying "strength in numbers" and "it doesn't matter if one of us falls below because we've got the numbers to keep us here." It was such poetic justice.
I want it to be Amy and Colleen at the finale. They deserve it. They have both worked so hard and they are genuinely good people. I really admire Amy's strength and courage to go against the grain and do what was best for her, even knowing how psychotic Vicki is and that she would seek revenge. I'm glad she had the integrity to stand up and do the right thing.

Where The Sidewalk Ends

Hug O' War

I will not play at tug o'war.

I'd rather play at hug o'war,

Where everyone hugs

Instead of tugs,

Where everyone giggles

And rolls on the rug,

Where everyone kisses,

And everyone grins,

And everyone cuddles,

And everyone wins.

-Shel Silverstein, Where the Sidewalk Ends

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I wish we all had a little bit more of that for each other. I may not agree with everyone's opinion, but I do respect their opinion and understand that I'm not always going to agree with everyone.
I have a very good friend. Sometimes we are so much alike that we both swear we share a brain. We also have lived nearly parallel lives (seriously, the things we've both gone through are so similar it's scary). We also have the same name. I voted for McCain and yes on prop 8. She voted for Obama and no on prop 8. And yet, we're still friends because we both understand that we're allowed to have different opinions.
We are all different. We all believe different things. Someone HAS to be wrong, but it isn't up to us to decide who that is. I'm very grateful that I don't have to be the one to decide. I might be wrong, but I might not be. Either way, I'm going to stand up for what I believe in, and everyone else can do the same. And know you've found out what it means to me. R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Yay!

The Holidays at Disneyland start November 21st! I'm so excited for it to snow on Main Street again!

Quack Quack!

Last night Nick, his aunt, his little brother and I went to the Ducks game. Anaheim Ducks (WAHOOO, YEAH!!!!) vs Detroit Red Wings (BOOOOOOOOO!! BOOOOOOOO!!!). It was the best game the Ducks have played all year. They looked awesome out there. The score was 4-4 at the end of regulation time, so they took it to overtime and the Ducks won it 5-4! Yay Ducks!

The only sad thing was that Parros didn't play :( Oh well. We've still got all season for me to see Parros kick butt.

Nick and I have 4 season seats, so if anyone ever wants to go to a game with us, just let me know!

Parros laying down the law against Philly. Man I love Hockey!

Loathing

Loathing, unadulterated loathing, for her face, her voice, her clothing! Its so pure, so strong! Though I do admit it came on fast, still I do believe that it can last...

I borrow a song from Wicked today to describe how I feel for Vicky. She's a contestant on the Biggest Loser, and she is just plain awful. She's mean, manipulative, vindictive, and she's only there to win the money and play the game. I am 100% certain that she and her husband Brady (who is almost equally as terrible) threw the weigh in last week so they could vote out the blonde Amy and psych out her husband Phil so he would get voted off this week. How can you loose 3 pounds one week and then turn around and pull a 13 lb. loss out the next week? Hmmm? Unless you're CHEATING!!!!! Ugh. She makes me so mad! She needs to get voted out and have that nasty little smirk wiped right off her squashed in face!

On a more cheerful note, I totally love Colleen and Amy with the dark hair. They are so awesome and I hope they make it all the way. I also hope that Phil or Amy with blonde hair wins the at home part so they can get the $100,000.

Ranting Lunatic

This is me being frustrated:

I'm tired of working for next to nothing.
I'm tired of having a job I hate just so I can have a job.
I'm tired of being married, and yet still living with roommates so we can save money.
I'm tired of having those roommates eat my food.
I'm tired of my roommates telling me what to do.
I'm tired of saving and then having an emergency come along and totally wipe everything out.
I'm tired of having roommates, did I mention that?
I'm tired of being poor.
I'm tired of being fat.
I'm tired of exercising and eating right and not getting any results.
I'm tired of being a grown-up.

On the bright side, at least I have a wonderful husband to help me through all of this. I'm just so frustrated right now with our situation. We're living with roommates so that we only pay $375 a month in rent, and the plan was to pay off our debt and start putting away some serious money toward a down payment on a house. Except that Nick's transmission blew up and had to be replaced. And then Nick's mouth expoded... ish, and he had to have a root canal, and a crown, and a bunch of fillings, and he still needs another root canal, and another crown. And books and school cost what might as well be a million dollars, and we're both going to school, so make that two million.
I guess the only thing we can do is just keep paying our tithing and doing what we're supposed to be doing and things will work themselves out. It just feels like the dreams we have for our life are never going to happen. The thing that frustrates me most is how incredibly PERFECT the housing market is for first time home buyers, aka, us. And no matter how hard we try we can't get ourselves to a place where we can take that step.

Sigh.
Bigger Sigh.

This is me reminding myself how much I have to be grateful for:

I'm grateful for my loving and understanding husband.
I'm grateful for big wet doggie kisses.
I'm grateful for Disneyland.
I'm grateful for my wedding album (so beautiful!).
I'm grateful for hot chocolate and snuggley warm blankets.
I'm grateful for red high heels.
I'm grateful for homemade t-shirts.
I'm grateful for good friends who cheer me up.
I'm grateful for my car.
I'm grateful for my trials... just not the ones I'm having right now, lol.
I'm grateful for laughter.
I'm grateful for my Tiffany's ring.
I'm grateful for cookbooks.
I'm grateful for sappy chick flicks.

Mary Kay

Hello everyone! As most of you know, I sell Mary Kay Cosmetics. I am getting together an order to be placed in the next week or so, and wanted to give everyone the opportunity to order if they wanted to buy anything. I know how tight money is right now, so as an incentive to order, I'm giving everyone 20% off, and free shipping for those who live out of state. Any of your friends that want to order get the same discount. You can go to marykay.com to check out all the great stuff we offer, and with the holiday's coming, now is the perfect time to start picking up little gifts. As an extra incentive, I'll also throw in a lip gloss or lipstick of your choice with all orders over $35. I also do free makeovers if you need some girl time. Just email me your order leave a comment on my blog, or call me at 951-265-0026! I love you guys and hope to hear from you soon!!

I forgot some people...

Upon reflection, I realized I forgot some VERY VERY important people in my last blog!

Claudia: My fabulous Aunt who always seems to know what to say to put things into perspective, and can always, ALWAYS make me smile.

Cousin Ashley: She rocks my world. She is such a strong person and we have such a good time together. The best of friends since birth.

My Grandma: She may not be with me here on Earth anymore, but I know she is always with me in Spirit, watching over me. She set such a good example for me and was the one person I knew I could always turn to for anything I stood in need of. I miss her everyday.

My Grandpa: An amazing man always ready with a smile, a hug, and a new blonde joke for me. A pillar of strength, humility, and love.

Melissa: I know I can always count on her to be there for me, not to mention helping me out with her favorite princess pose. My silly buddy and a great example to all who know her.

Friends

I've been thinking alot about what kind of person I am. I've realized that I am who I am today because of the friends I've had along the way. I just want to let those who have influenced me most know how much I love and care for them:

Sierra: My sister and best friend. I know that I can always count on her for a good laugh, round of name calling, and gossip session. She's always there for me and I love her with all my heart.

Scott: He showed me that its okay to love myself for who I really am and that I deserve someone who treats me like a queen. He is one of my dearest friends, and one of the few people that knows me almost as well as I know myself.

Caitlin: My very first roommate. She will always have a special place in my heart. We spent hours laughing, crying, venting, and gushing over boys. She put up with my messes and still loved me anyway.

Ashley Doxey: Part of the original six roommates at BYU. She brought me back to earth when I was being ridiculous and let me cry on her shoulder more times than I'd like to remember (Stupid Boys). She helped me on my path to figuring out who I am and no matter how long its been since we talked, we can pick up like it was only yesterday. She will always be one of my best friends.

Shalayne: What would Shalayne wear? The girl who has it all and is still always humble. An example to me in everything she does, and one of the coolest people I've ever known.

Megan: My Mary Kay buddy, and the girl who befriended me when I was friendless and alone. One of the most genuinely good people I know, and one of my best friends.

Kim: My newest friend, and my biggest loser buddy. We've lived parallel lives and can relate on so many levels. We just get each other, and I have so much fun when I'm with her. Even though she may not know it, she pushes me to be a better version of myself.

Natalee: One of my oldest friends. We've been through alot together and can talk for hours about anything and everything. An amazing person inside and out.

Nick: My husband, my companion, my best friend. He lets me know everyday how special and beautiful I am. He reminds me of how amazing I am when I forget and get down on myself. He's patient with me and puts up with my crazyness, and any man who can do that has to be incredible. I love him more than anything in this world.

I couldn't think of a clever title...

So right now I work at Guaranty Bank and I am completely and utterly miserable. For the past couple of weeks I've cried everyday on my lunch break and everyday as I drive home from work. Now I can't cry on my lunch breaks any more because they've decided to "try something new" where they spread out the hours and have "people" work short shifts six days a week... oh wait, it's only me they're trying it on. So basically they schedule me for a 3, 4, or 5 hour shift to come in right in the middle of the day so I can cover for everyone else's luch and then I go home. When I asked about why I was scheduled like that and also why they wouldn't ever give me time off when I asked for it, I was told "time off is a privilege, not a right, and you've worked here the least amount of time so you haven't earned that right."
Oh, and did I mention the fiasco with my birthday? I requested my birthday off and was told I couldn't have it off because I had a mandatory training that I absolutely had to be at. Well, the training center is right across the street from pinkberry, so at least if I had to work on my birthday, I could have a giant pinkberry to make things better. The day before the training, the tell me, "we're pulling you out of training because we need you here in the bank all day tomorrow, and we'll just send you to the training next month." So I couldn't have it off because of the training, but now you don't feel like sending me so you're going to postpone? It gets better. I come in on my birthday and find out that my manager had called one of the girls who was supposed to come in that day and told her not to bother coming in because we had everything covered. And did I mention that it was that lady's daughter's birthday the same day too? Yeah.
Needless to say, I'm desperately trying to find a new job. I have never been this unhappy at work, not even when I worked as a pizza delivery cashier and had to fold pizza boxes for 5 hours straight. Unfortunately, my job search is turning up fruitless. I would appreciate your prayers, and if anyone hears of any job openings I'm open for almost anything at this point.
PS, sorry about the crazy ranting...

Face off Fest

Nick, Sierra (my sister), Stewart (Nick's little brother), and I went to a Ducks players meet and greet tonight. I got to meet George Parros. I love George Parros. He is the enforcer on the team and when he's on the ice, you know there's going to be a fight, and he never lets me down. You don't mess with the 'stache.

Me and Parros. He's totally my favorite player. He rocks my world.I got to sit on the Rubio's Zamboni. It was sweet, although it would have been way cooler if I had gotten to ride it on the ice in between periods.
Ryan Getzlaf, or "Sexy Getzy" as he is affectionately known by the ladies. It totally looks like he is grabbing my boob... lol. He's not, just in case you were wondering.

Tragedy

The left heel of my favorite pair of shoes (my black pumps with the ribbon around the outside and the bow on the front) snapped off on Tuesday night while I was at class. The whole class was silently working on an assignment, when my heel broke, and I cried out in pain and dismay. Everyone looked at me and I exclaimed that my heel had broken. My friend Kim then repied, "But its your birthday!" That's right. My heel broke, on my birthday.
Like I said, TRAGEDY.

The Biggest Loser

Okay, so remember how I auditioned to be on The Biggest Loser and made it to a second interview? Well the season I would have been on started today. I watched it when I got home from class, and as I watched, I cried. I cried, and I cried, and I cried some more. I know that when people look at me they don't see a big fat girl, but in all reality, that's what I am. I weigh close to 215 lbs and wear a size 16. I know that I need to do something about the path I'm on before it's too late, because I know what my future will be if I don't. My grandmother died from complications with her morbid obesiety and her diabetes. My aunt is morbidly obese. My cousin is obese. My sister is obese. I am obese.
I want to have kids in the next year or two, and I'm terrified of being a fat mom. I'm terrified that my kids will be embarrased by me. I don't want to be fat my whole life. I've always struggled with my weight, and I know it's something I'll battle with my whole life, but it's time for me to stop losing and fight back.
My friend Kim from school and I are starting a sort of Biggest Loser type thing. We're going to create a blog, have weekly weigh in's, and make our weight loss into a competition. We plan on getting together this Saturday to kick things off, but I want to open it up to everyone. Whether you want to join us in our fight against fat, or you just want to offer your support, we'd love to have you. Our blog is http://gofromflabtofab.blogspot.com/ . Its going to be private because we're going to post scary pictures of us in sport's bras like they do on the show, but if you'd like access, just email me at kgrafton615@hotmail.com.
I don't want to be held back because of my weight, so I'm going to make a change, and everyone here is a witness. There's no going back, and hopefully by Thanksgiving I'll be a healthier, skinner, happier me.

Magic

My good friend Megan and I went to Disneyland today and it was completely amazing. We started the day with breakfast at Sonic, mmmmm. Then we got to Disneyland and scored Dream Fastpasses at Snow White's Wishing Well!! It was so exciting because I always see people with them around their necks and get so jealous, and now I got to be the one people were jealous of!

After that we just ran around the park from ride to ride, not even needing the fastpasses because all the lines were 5-10 minutes long. As we were walking toward the exit to head over to California Adventure, we noticed what looked like a photo shoot set up at the Main Street train stop, so we decided to investigate. We walked up the stairs and asked one of the crew members who said they were filming interviews with annual passholders to use for an advertisement on the Disney website. We asked if we could be a part, and they had us sign a release and we were on our way to being Disney spokespeople! Our interview was great - they loved us. So everyone needs to be checking disney.com to look for me talking about why annual passes are awesome. All in all we had a phenominal day and got to ride all of our favorite rides at least 2 or 3 times, including the new Toystory Mania ride (SO awesome). And in every ride photo, I made my asian tourist face... I swear I'm not racist, it's just a funny face that alot of asians seem to make in pictures.I love Disneyland so much. I'm so excited that I got to participate in that interview, and that I got to share how much I love Disneyland at Christmas time. I talked about how I cry everytime it snows on mainstreet and that arrangement of "White Christmas" comes on, and I even teared up just talking about it in the interview. Oh man. I just hope that part of our interview gets used...

Oh happy day!!

I plan on buying my digital SLR at CostCo because they have good package deals. Today when I was going through my wallet for something to do on my lunch, I found an old CostCo gift card that I thought I had already used up. I called the number on the back of the card just to make sure, and there is $30.16 on it!!! YAY ME!! That's $30.16 that doesn't have to come out of my pocket. I'm probably much more excited than I should be, but I don't care. That is all.

I love to see the temple...

I just came across this picture on my digital camera from the last time I was there. Just thought I'd share because I really like it. The San Diego Temple is just so incredibly beautiful... if you've never had the opportunity to go there, you should, and when you do, you should call me so I can go with you. :)

Sad News

On Wednesday morning, my old friend Chris Snethen was killed in a motorcycle accident. He was 23 years old. We were in the same primary class when we were 7 and graduated high school together. It's hard to deal with news like this, especially because he was so young and had his whole life ahead of him. Its times like these that remind us not only how precious life is, but also how priceless the gospel is. I am so incredibly blessed to know who I am and where I came from. I know that the Lord has a plan for each of us, and that sometimes that plan can be hard to accept. I have a testimony that He loves us and if we trust in Him, He will stand by us through everything and give us strength to make it through our trials. Chris will be greatly missed, but it is comforting to know that he is with our Father in Heaven.

Grateful

I just want to say how grateful I am that I have Nick. I don't know how many of you know our story, so I wanted to share it with you.

I was going through a rough time, I had been dumped four times in a row, all four times for no reason at all, one of the times having been cheated on. I was finally starting to like being single, and had resolved not to date. I was the chorister and choir director in my ward and right around the time I swore off men, this weird and slightly creepy red headed kid joined my choir. I could tell he liked me, and I was SO not interested. After about a month of being in my choir, he finally spoke to me, he managed to string a couple of sentences together before I had to "get going." About a month after that he asked me out, and my policy on dating was that everyone got a first date and a chance to prove my first opinion of them wrong, so I said yes. He took me to a baseball game... I hate baseball. He also didn't tell me what team the Angels would be playing, and I just happend to be wearing the colors of the other team. Oops. I got to know him a little better, and we got along well, but I still didn't really want anything to do with him. Poor kid. He was persistent though. He always made sure that if he was going to do something with his friends that I was invited. He also went to every single activity he thought I might be at and kept coming to choir (even though he really can't sing), and he even bought a season pass to Disneyland so he'd have an excuse to talk to me. After about a month of this, he found out my birthday was coming up, so he went into my mom's flower shop and ordered a huge arrangement to be delivered to me at work. My mom asked me who he was, and gave me the usual run down about the "men in my life" - how old is he (25), is he going to school (yes, cal poly Pomona for civil engineering), does he have a job (he works for a large engineering firm as an intern), where did he serve his mission (south Texas, Spanish speaking) and then asked me why I didn't like him... I didn't have an answer.

I couldn't explain why I didn't like this guy who was so easy to talk to, had a testimony, was going to school, had a good job, had a plan, and was practically in love with me. This was all so new to me. Usually I went for really old losers who were still delivering pizza or selling pest control and not in school with no plan for the future, and I was chasing them. I just didn't understand why I couldn't make myself like him. Then one night, a couple of weeks after my birthday, he invited me to his house with a group of people to watch a movie. At this point I had used every excuse in the book, so I said yes. Conveniently for him, everyone else had an excuse, so when I got to his house, it was just us two... great...

About halfway through the movie, he started to put his arm around me, and I just rolled my eyes and thought, what the heck... why not just let him do it, and when he did, it felt like home. By the time the movie ended we were snuggled close and I suggested we watch another movie because I didn't want him to let go of me. Since that night, we have been inseparable. Three weeks after that first night together, we said "I love you" for the first time:

Kim: "Can I ask you a question?"

Nick: "Sure, what is it?"

K: "Are you in love with me?"

N: "Yes, I think I am. Yes, I love you"

K: "Okay, good, because I think I love you too."

Three months after that we were engaged (he proposed at Disneyland because he said that was the place where he first realized that he loved me) and then five months after that we were married in the San Diego Temple.

I am just so incredibly grateful that he was drawn to me from the first time he saw me, the first Sunday I was in the Murrieta singles branch and President Mattson called me up to bear my testimony. I am grateful that he had the courage and the tenacity to keep inviting me and talking to me even though everytime he did he got rejected (and believe me, it was like every weekend). And I am so grateful for all the mistakes and failed relationships the Lord put in my path so that when Nick found me and I finally took down my walls and let him in, that I could tell the difference between him and the others who had treated me so badly. When Nick and I got engaged, I had one of my exes tell me that he was happy for me, and that he wished he could have seen what a gem I was when he had dated me. He told me that I was now the standard he judged girls against and that I was more amazing than I knew. How grateful I am that the Lord saw fit to cloud his eyes. Though it was painful at the time, looking back, I don't think I would have given Nick the time of day if not for guys like Apollo, Chris, Garrett, Eric, Taylor, and Will.

The Lord prepares us all in different ways for different things. The Gospel helps me see that every mistake, every bump in the road, every time your heart is broken, everytime you fall and are unsure if you'll be able to get back up... its all preparation for something bigger, something greater than you could have had if you hadn't had those experiences that made you strong. Nick has told me before that part of him knew that he loved me that very first time he saw me, and that's what kept him going each time I turned him down, and I think after that first date, part of me knew that we would be great together if I would let him in. I think I was scared - scared that I might actually get what I wanted for once. And you know what? I did.

My Precious...

I feel like Gollum. My desire for this consumes me. I visit it everyday on costco.com. Everyday. I yearn to make it mine. I just wish there was some way I could own it sooner than seven months from now... $50 from each paycheck is going into my "camera account" that I opened at work this week to save for my camera. That's $100 a month, and at $699.99 it will take me seven months to get enough to buy it, and then I'll make Nick pay for the tax. The only way to get it sooner is if people (meaning my family) are nice enough to get me CostCo gift cards for my birthday and Christmas. Cross your fingers for me!!

Amazement

I just found out that my friend, Allyse Smith, made a cd with Marvin Goldstein. Anyone looking for a new church cd with beautiful arrangements and a remarkable vocalist should go buy her cd, "Come Thou Fount."

When I was in the Murrieta singles branch, I had the opportunity to hear Allyse sing many times and the beauty, majesty, and spirit of her voice always brought tears to my eyes. I also had the pleasure of having her sing in my little choir when I was the choir director. She is such an amazing person and I feel blessed to consider her my friend.

Writing

I had to do a writing autobiography for class. By writing autobiography, I mean a ten page paper on how you have developed as a writer, your writing habits/strategies, the things you like/dislike about writing, and how plan to grow as a writer. Here is an excerpt from my paper:

"Writing is something I love to do. Most people moan and groan when assigned an essay or research paper, but I see it as an excuse to shine. It is an outlet for my feelings, a release for my stress, and a soapbox for my opinions. A great deal of thought goes into every word I write and I often consult a thesaurus for exactly the right sentiment. Writing is as much a part of who I am as is my passion for shoes, my piercing blue eyes, my infectious laugh, and my love of eating. When I write for myself, I do so with everything I posses. Not all writing for assignments receive the same amount of fervor, but I still put much of myself into the words that fill the pages. I see writing as a way to leave my mark, to change someone’s views, or touch someone’s life. By putting my idiosyncrasies and pieces of myself into my writing, I can ensure that I will not be forgotten, that I will live on, if only in the minds of those who read my words."

At least on some level, I suppose that is why we are all here, why we write our blogs... to make our mark and ensure we are not forgotten.

Pinkberry and Brian Regan

Thursday was a fabulous day. I had training for the first half of the day in Temecula, so on my lunch break I stopped at Pinkberry and partook of the swirly goodness. That night, Nick and I went to see the comedian Brian Regan at Pechanga (I got Nick the tickets for our anniversary). He was hillarious and we had such a good time. I haven't laughed that hard in a while.

I actually got him the tickets because before we started dating, he asked me out to a Brian Regan show and I stood him up at the last minute (don't feel bad for him, the tickets he was getting from a friend from fell through anyway...). It was fun to go to the show we were supposed to go to almost exactly two years ago. Funny how much things can change in such a small amount of time. Then, I was dreading going with him because he was the weird red head kid that always stared at me when I was leading the music and now, I can't think of anyone else I'd rather spend all of my time with! Awwww...

SO PISSED!!!

Spoiler alert: If you watch So You Think You Can Dance and have not yet seen the results show from this week, do not read this post.

I am so upset!! The person that I think should have won the whole competition got kicked off tonight, and I feel that if the judges had a say in what went down, this person would have stayed. I adore Courtney, but I think that she should have stood in Chelsea's place tonight and tearfully watched the montage of her best moments from the show as she bid everyone goodbye. Chelsea is so amazing and no matter what style she dances, she blows me away. There hasn't been a single routine that she hasn't been incredible in. I'm very disappointed that she won't have the chance at the title, because I think that of all the girls in the competition, she absolutely was the most talented. Sigh. It's Chris Daughtry and American Idol all over again. What can you do?

Primary

Nick and I were sustained as Primary teachers today! We're team teaching the CTR 8 class, which is a fun class because it's the kids who are turning 8 while they're in the class, so they get baptised this year. I love Primary so much, especially the music. I almost started crying when we were singing our opening song. I'm such a sap.

I came home filled with so much love and gratitude. This is going to be a great calling. I have a feeling that these kids are going to teach me so much more than I'm going to teach them... They're so sweet and innocent and loving.

Our meeting time is at 8:30 in the morning, so if anyone has good ideas of things that are better than candy to bribe the kids with, I'd appreciate your input. I feel bad giving them candy that early in the morning, and I don't think the parents would appreciate it. Lol.

New Job

The flower shop couldn't give me enough hours, so I went and got a new job... I'm back in banking. I'm working for a small bank called Guaranty, and I really like it. Its nice to be working more than 15 hours a week again. Yay for having a job!

An oldie but goodie

I got my baby back!

Oh my goodness. Bella escaped from our yard yesterday. We realized she was gone at around 11:30 PM when we went to lock her up for the night. We were out for hours looking for her and I cried myself to sleep. She didn't have her collar on and she's not micro chipped. This morning, my mother-in-law and brother-in-law made and posted fliers all over our neighborhood. I could not concentrate in my training class I was so worried. Luckily, someone found her yesterday afternoon and then saw the fliers today and called. I'm so happy to have her back.

Future Vacation Plans!

I'm saying this right now, so that anyone who wants to come (and also reads our blog) can start saving!

Nick and I are planning to go on a 7 day cruise to the Mexican Riviera (Cabo san Lucas, Mazatlan, and Puerta Villarta) in September 2009. We've done some research and it looks like either the 20-27 or 27-oct. 4. It will be appx. $1400 per couple for the cruise, so if you put away just $100 a month, or $25 a week (that's nothing!!) you will have saved enough by the time the cruise rolls around. We really really REALLY want to go with some other couples... wouldn't that be a blast? Anyone who is interested, please let me know so we can work out the details. And if those weeks don't work for you because of school or whatnot, just let me know how early you need to go. We can go earlier in the month, it will just be a little bit more expensive (like $150 ish more per couple)

We really hope you can come join us for some fun in the sun!

Wii Fit

Okay, so Nick and I have been house sitting for my mom's best friend for the past week and we've had a blast! They have an awesome pool with a slide and a waterfall and they also have a sweet barbeque with a bar and an outside fridge.
They also have a Wii (love it!) and a Wii Fit. The Wii Fit is brutally honest... it told me I'm obese, and that my body is much weaker than it should be. Nothing like having a video game dish up a big ol' slice of depression pie. Sierra and I are going to start going to the gym so that I can try to work my way down from obese to just plain overweight. In order to do that I have to drop about 15 pounds. Yikes.

I guess the reason its so shocking to me, is because I've always known I was overweight, but I guess I hadn't realized how much weight I've put on in the past year. i still don't know if I would call myself "obese" but based on my body mass index (bmi) that's exactly what I am. So here goes nothing. I'm going to try to be dilligent and work out at least 3 times a week. I figure if I start out with a reasonable goal I can work my way up to more.

I'm so scared of being a fat mom... I want to be able to run and jump and play with my kids, I don't want them to be embarassed of their fat mom. I don't want to avoid cameras because I don't like the way I look. I want to get back to a point where I'm confident about the way I look in my clothes - I just want to be able to fit into a size 12 again.

Anyone who wants to can call or comment and help keep me motivated and on track by periodically checking in with me to see how I'm doing.

Obsession

Oh my goodness. I'm Obsessed!! I just read Twighlight, by Stephanie Meyer and I'm in love. Its the first book in the series and I stayed up until 2 in the morning last night to finish reading it because I couldn't bear to go to sleep not knowing how it ended! Its killing me to stay here at work when I know the 2nd book, New Moon, is waiting for me at home! And what makes it even worse is that I'm being forced to go to the movies with Nick and his little brother Stewart right after work! AHHHH! Normally I would jump at the chance to go to the movies, epecially because Nick's parents are paying for us to go and because its Get Smart and I really want to see it, but I have a book at home screaming my name!! Grrrr. Life's full of dillemas.

New Beginnings

I decided that it was time for me to make a big change in my life and kind of start over, ish. So I went out and got a new job, and I started back to school :)
My new job is at Guaranty Bank and I start as soon as my background check is done. The branch is right in Sun City so I don't have to go very far and I get health benefits starting day 1 and tuition reimbursement after 6 months. I'm excited.
As for school, I'm enrolled in Azusa Pacific University's Center for Adult and Professional studies. Aka, night school. I go to class once a week and will have my BA (finally) in 18 months. Cool huh? I figure third time's the charm. Lol. Seriously though, I decided that working at places like the flower shop where there is no room for advancement, especially on the pay scale, just wasn't going to cut it anymore, so I stopped complaining and did something about it!!
I just got to the point where I was constantly unhappy with my position in life and where everything was headed, or rather, not headed and knew I needed to get up and pursue what I wanted. So in December of next year I will have my BA in human development and then I will be headed of to get my teaching credential and I plan to be and elementary school teacher. I don't know what the Lord has in store for me or if I'll get as far as teaching (that would be around the same time Nick and I want to start having kids) but I'm taking an active role in my life for once instead of trying to drive from the backseat. Yay for me!

Two posts in one day!

I need advice... If anyone knows anything about cameras please comment...
After the cruise I decided that I need a digital SLR camera. I want one and am going to start setting aside a little bit of money every month so I can buy one at the day after Thanksgiving sales. After doing some research, I've decided on a Nikon, but I don't know whether I should get the D40 or the D60. I can get the D40 with a camera bag, telefoto lens, extra battery and a tripod for like $800 ish whereas the D60 by itself is $700. I've never had a really nice camera like this before, so I'm a beginner and the D40 wouldn't be a bad choice, but.... The D60 has 10.2 megapixels and can shoot 3 fps, while the D40 only has 6.1 megapixels and does 2 fps. I'm torn. Since I'm spending a boatload of money on a camera already should I spring for the nicer one or should I buy the beginner's camera with all the extras? It's not like I would know any different if I bought the lower camera, but my regular digital camera right now has 6 megapixels, so it wouldn't be that much of a step up as far as that goes, but I'm also not planning on blowing up any pictures to poster size anytime soon and I'm not a professional, I just want a really nice camera that will last me a really long time and take great pictures....
Help! What does everyone else think?

Viva Mexico!

Happy Anniversary to us! We just celebrated our first anniversary on the 15th with a 5 day cruise to Mexico and we had a blast! Our cruise stopped in Cabo san Lucas and Ensenada. There is always one formal night on every cruise and it just happened to fall on our anniversary! So we got all dressed up and took pictures and went dancing... what a great way to celebrate. In Cabo, Nick went scuba diving (I was suppossed to go, but I panicked and couldn't keep my breathing under control, so I didn't go down) and saw tons of cool fish. I'll post pictures when we get the waterproof camera developed. At our stop in Ensenada, we took a tour of La Bufadora, a "blowhole." Its a natural gyuser that is formed by the rocks and shoots water 100 feet in the air! If you saw the movie Fools Gold, you know what a blow hole is :) and there are only 3 in the whole world! Pretty sweet. After the blowhole tour, we went horseback riding thru the hills north of the city. We loved it and we saw an amazing view of the whole bay. Nick rode "Primo" (which means cousin in Spanish) and my horse's name was "Jose Cuervo Gold" lol... can you tell we were in Mexico? Gotta love a horse named after Tequila. Nick and I had such a great time that we want to go on another cruise in early September of next year. We want to go with other couples this time, so if you want to come just let me know!! It would be soooooo much fun! Enjoy the pictures!

Embarking the "Elation"

My favorite kind of gift box! Nick got me a Tiffany's ring :)

One of my favorite of our formal night pictures

Another nice one... don't we look smokin'? Nick is wearing a lavender shirt! He looked so good.

Scuba Nick! The water was incredibly and painfully cold even with a wet suit!

The bus driver who took us to the blowhole was crazy! I thought we were going to die...

I almost got soaked! My hair was already getting frizzy from all the spray, I didn't want it to get all curly too!!

Then Nick went to take a picture, and the water soaked everyone standing along the rail! haha!

Awww...

The real Black Pearl that they used in The Pirates of the Caribbean! Sweet!

Our horse back riding excursion with Primo and Jose Cuervo Gold!

They made towel animals and left them on our bed everynight for us! This one was my favorite... he's a seal wearing my sunglasses!

Pet Peeve

I've decided that my new biggest pet peeve is when people try to tell me how to do my job. It has surpassed even dead fish handshakes on my annoy-o-meter. Men come in to the flower shop all the time and proceed to tell me exactly which flowers to use to make their arrangements, and guess what... they look like crap. Why do they look bad when men micromanage their arrangement? Because men don't have a clue, especially when it comes to flowers. If your wife/girlfriend has a favorite flower, great! I'll throw some in the arrangement. Favorite color? Perfect! I'll make it part of my color scheme or create a monochromatic arrangement with that color. But please men, I'm pleading with you, don't try to pick out every flower that is going to be in your arrangement, and don't ask me what I'm going to put in it when even if I tell you you'll have no idea. "Snapdragons, misty blue, gerberas, buttons, and gladiolus" sounds the same to you as "salal, ruscus, springeri, monestero, and pitt" when the latter is all greens and leaves, but how would you know that? My point is that you will always, ALWAYS get a nicer and prettier and fresher arrangement if you tell the florist, "make me something pretty." and you leave it to the professionals. I don't tell chefs exactly how I want my meal cooked or a mechanic the procedure for changing my oil because they already know how, so why can't men just let me arrange flowers? Grrrrr.....

Swirly Goodness

I just discovered Pinkberry. It's a little bit of heaven in your mouth. I have fallen in love. There is one just 10 minutes from my house... mmmm...

Blue

I've been feeling kind of blue lately. I guess I'm just frustrated... with my job and constantly getting walked all over, with the fabulous buyers market for houses and the fact that we STILL can't afford one, with waiting for Nick to be done with school so we can start a family, with my weight... It was just all starting to weigh down on me so heavily that I felt like I was going to break, ya know? Then one day I was checking my email and I get those daily gem emails from the church website, and this one was in my inbox:

"Mercies and blessings come in different forms--sometimes as hard things. Yet the Lord said, 'Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things' (D&C 59:7). All things means just that: good things, difficult things--not just some things. He has commanded us to be grateful because He knows being grateful will make us happy. This is another evidence of His love." -Bonnie D. Parkin

Sigh. I think the Lord is trying to tell me something, how about you? I have so much to be grateful for and I need to remeber that more often. So as a start, here are some things I am grateful for:

Red nail polish, hot chocolate, clearance racks, snuggly warm blankets, microwaves, laughing, mascara, the color pink, high heeled shoes, digital cameras, smiling, infectious melodies, Nick, good haircuts, the smell of burbury brit perfume, and hugs to name a few.

Holy New Post Batman!

So I finally found my camera cord in one of the boxes in our garage in our new house. We recently moved from Riverside back to Menifee and are renting a little house. It's so nice to have a backyard again!! So here's the update I've been promising...

I went to a Mary Kay Conference with my sales unit the last weekend in March. It was a blast! Tons of fun girl time and playing with makeup. I roomed with the girls below (from left to right, Jennah, Heather, Me, and Megan)

I went to Disney's California Adventure with Megan at the beginning of April after shoe shopping in the morning. We ate dinner with the princesses, got our faces painted, rode rollercoasters, and took crazy pictures on the CALIFORNIA letters. and now, here is the best part of the post... The REO Speedwagon, Stxy, and Def Leppard concert my brother and I went to!!!!! It was amazing. This is the view from our seats with no zoom. We sat in our seat through REO Speedwagon (they were old and not very good performers) and Stxy (they're awesome, way awesome)

Our seats were really good. We were in the front section in the center row P, so pretty close to the front. But after Styx, we decided to sneak up to the end of the isleway the extended into the crowd to row L. When I stood up I could rest my nose on the edge of the stage. So cool. Then Def Leppard came on and they pretty much rocked my world the way they always do, except this time, I could reach out and touch their legs and see the sweat dripping off their faces. For the most part, the band stayed on the main stage, and only Joe Elliot (the lead singer) came out the edge of the runway. But the coolest part of the whole show was when they set up 4 mic's and the end of the runway and Joe, Phil, Vivian, and Rick all came up and did a couple of accoustic songs. When I was taking pictures of them, I had to lean back to get their whole body in the shot. It was so intense to be standing so incredibly close to all of them. At one point, Vivian was slapping hands of people in the crowd and he slipped Zack his guitar pick :) So cool! Right after he did that, he slapped my hand and looked me right in the eyes and locked eyes with me for about 5 or 6 seconds. Wow. I actually got a picture of him looking right at me (see below)

At the end of the show, my favorite member of the band, and one of my heroes, made his only appearance to the crowd... Rick Allen, the one armed drummer. He is so amazing. The fact that he lost his arm but refused to give up and figured out how to rig up foot pedals so that he could still be the band's drummer after his accident is just incredible to me. True perserverance.

This is us after the show with the stage right behind us. We're still glowing from the awesomeness of our experience. (Isn't my brother a cutie?)This is us with the guitar pics we caught when they threw them out/when vivian handed his to Zack. Best concert ever.

And then there was Mother's Day/prom in one weekend.... there are no pictures of that because there's no way to translate 14 hour work days and dealing with stupid teenagers and their moms into a photograph. I'm just glad its over.

Now I have my anniversary to look forward to :) Its hard to believe that Nick and I have been married for almost a year. We're going on a 5 day cruise that stops in Cabo San Lucas and Ensenada. Scuba diving, sun bathing (or in my case, burning, lol), horseback riding, a formal night... I can't wait. We leave June 14th, and it won't come soon enough. I need a vacation.

Thanks for reading... until next time.