I love my calling, and I do a really good job at what I do. I love the kiddos I teach, I love sharing time, I love singing time, I love Primary. But I'm struggling right now, and I was just wondering if anybody has ever taught in Primary and felt this way.
Some weeks I feel like I've been banished. The only adults in my ward that I know are the adults in Primary. I don't have any friends at church. I walk down the halls and see women talking and laughing, over hear people talk about play dates, double dates, and family outings with a bunch of different families. Sometimes I feel like such an outsider. My Relief Society president doesn't even know my name. I saw her at the grocery store the other day and said hello, and at first she didn't even recognize me, and then the light kind of came on and she said "Hi Heather, how are you?" as I was walking past her.
I just feel like I don't fit in anywhere right now. There's nobody to relate to... everyone has kids and the people with kids are friends with the other people who have kids the same age. I'm not very good at making friends, I don't feel comfortable going up to random people and striking up a conversation. I haven't been able to go to Enrichment night in who knows how long because it was the same night as school. I just don't know what to do. During Primary I'm content to be buddies with the 7/8 year olds, but after church when I walk the halls, I long for someone to reach out to me. For someone to be my friend.
I do have friends, in fact I have wonderful friends, but all but one of those friends lives a minimum of a 35 minute drive from my house, and the one friend that lives close by hates my roommates and refuses to come to my house. And Nick is a wonderful man, but he is content to sit at home and play video games while sports of any kind is on in the background. He would be content to have no friends at all, but I really need girlfriends.
I'm struggling and am not sure what to do. I guess more than anything I just needed to get this out of my head and put it out there to see if anyone has had a similar experience.
4 comments:
Hi Kim!!!
You are NOT ALONE!! Adam and I have been in this situation ever since we have been married. First, we were in nursery back in Utah, and now we are in primary. Its really hard to get to know people with these callings. All I can say is go to any activities the ward might have. People will eventually reach out to you. Doing your visiting teaching also helps. You get to know sisters really well that way. Its good to vent and talk about things, so I am glad you did. I hope you find some comfort knowing that you are not the only one going through this.
Kimmie...You have no idea how much I can relate to this post. I have such a hard time with it as well. What is so funny to me about you,though, is that you probably have the best personality EVER and I cant imagine you lacking in friends no matter where you are. I dont have very much advice cause im working on this too but please understand how special you are- people need someone like you as a friend;-)
oooh-no...It's easy to feel like outsiders (i often feel that way) But there is the new couple read in today (Harden), there are the Paines (did i spell it right?) There is that young couple serving in the nursery now. All young without kids. The activities is starting that guess who's coming to dinner...(I won't do this because the committee choses who comes over) to scary for me... I always know you! (and am glad I do!!)
Ok so I know I've been commenting on your blog a lot lately (sorry about that) But I 100% relate to this!! We are in a "young married couples ward" by being in this ward I was certain we would immediately fit in and meet lots of young couples we could have fun with and double date with etc. I too have good friends but none of them are as close as they used to be they have all moved away!! I am constantly telling Nate I just need some girlfriends. But for one reason or another we just haven't fit in the way we hoped to! Its not a very fun feeling when the RS pres can't remember who you are or your name (also something I can relate too)I am sure you are getting wonderful blessings for your service in your calling and Im sure that once the lord calls you to something else it will be much easier to make friends. You are such a fun person!! Anyway just wanted to let you know you are SO not alone. We know how that feels. I think everyone longs to feel like they are truly a part of a ward and even if you have calling but maybe aren't a part of the social circle in a ward you can feel lost.Hope it gets easier for you!!
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