Gratitude

It has been 3 months since we found out about this:

And 2 months since this:

When we officially lost our baby and one of my fallopian tubes.

I have been feeling very down and out these days.  So I decided I needed to do a post about the things in my life that I am most grateful for right now.

A couple of weeks ago we celebrated 5 years of this:

I couldn't be more grateful to have this man at my side through everything.  All the ups and downs, the triumph and the heart break (though I think heart break is a bit mild).  I know I can always count on him to be there for me, reminding me that I'm stronger than I think and just holding my hand and giving me a shoulder to cry on when I forget.

My Momma (and dad who refuses to take pictures):

I am grateful for their reactions to becoming grandparents, and their support when we found out they were not.  For sitting with me through visits to the ER, the doctor, back to the hospital, for sitting all day in the waiting room, for checking in on me and running errands for me.  We may not have always had the best of relationships, but I know that I can count on my parents for anything.  They are so amazing.

I'm also grateful for her:

My sister, best friend, and partner in crime.  She and I laugh together more than anyone else I know, often to the point of almost wet pants, aching bellies, and sore cheeks.  I miss her like crazy, and wish that she could have been here with me for the ordeal, but know that she is where she needs to be - becoming her own person and trying to find herself a man!

This guy:

My brother, on a mission.  He is so amazing and such a fantastic missionary.  I look forward to Mondays and getting to read his emails.  They lift my spirits and give me a boost to get through the week.  My surgery was two days before Mother's Day, so we got to talk to him on the phone right after it happened.  As we told him about everything that had gone on, it felt like he was right there with us, and I could hear him crying with us - crying over our loss, crying over my physical and emotional pain, crying because he wasn't there to give me a hug.  But he promised me that the Lord would bless me with the gift of Motherhood soon, and he's a missionary, so he can't lie.

And this girl:

I don't know what I would do without dear friend Megan.  Mary Kay brought us together, and I couldn't be more grateful for the Lord putting her in my life.  I often compare Megan to a ray of Sunshine, because she lights up a room, and brightens up my day whenever I get a text or call from her, and especially when I get to see her.  She is one of the most kind and genuine people I have ever met and I am blessed to call her my best friend.

Messages like this:

That I have received from various people in my life help keep me going when I feel the most down.  It's amazing how much you find you are loved when a tragedy befalls you.  I had a parent of one of the young women come up to me and tell me that I am one of the strongest women she has ever met and that I am an amazing role model for her girl, who looks up to me more than I could have ever guessed.  I don't know about all that, but it sure does make me feel a little bit lighter, a bit stronger knowing that someone else thinks I am strong.

Pinterest:

The majority of my hairstyles, food, treats, crafts, and ideas in general either come directly from or are inspired by Pinterest.  I love it. It's like internet crack.  I can get lost for hours in the beautiful pictures, neat ideas, and sarcastic and witty funnies.  It is seriously wonderful. 

This dress:

I don't think I have ever felt more beautiful or gotten so many compliments than when I wear this dress.  I'm kindof obsessed with maxi dresses right now, even though I only own two.  Apparently they don't make them for tall people because I cannot ever find one long enough.  But don't you fret.  I am on the hunt for fabric to make myself a couple.  Back to the dress.  I had a lady come up to be in Joann's while wearing the blue dress and my sock bun hair (see above) and tell me that I was strikingly beautiful.  My husband tells me this everyday, but coming from a stranger?  It almost made me think he might be right... almost.  If you want to get a lot of compliments, buy this dress... only I'm not going to tell you where I got it because I need all the ego boosts compliments I can get right now.

In addition to the things I had pictures of I am also grateful for:

coral nail polish and insta dry top coat, grapefruit and honey shampoo, my sparkly iphone case, caramel marshmallow popcorn, killer sales on fabric at joann's, my amazingly gorgeous home that is ALL MINE with NO ROOMMATES!, soda machines at the movies where you can get diet cherry vanilla coke, my camera and all the photo gigs I've had recently (even though they've all been unpaid), tithing, my stake president's gift of discernment and revelation and the promise that he made me without even knowing what was going on in my life, Joann's coupons, Urban Decay makeup, and sunglasses.

What are you grateful for?